The other day I was watching a friend of mine and her children swimming. Her son is only 2 years old but he swims like a fish in the shallow end. We were encouraging him to jump off the diving board into the deep end of the pool but he thought that might be a little scary. As I was watching this scene play out I thought to myself, this is like our faith so many times. We in our humanness want to work our way in to the deep end of our relationship with Christ but He is calling us just to dive in, to go deeper. God is calling my husband Micah and I to dive into the deep end of our faith and to completely trust that He is in control. We are beginning the adoption process!
A little back story of how we got here:
Almost 5 years ago we decided that it would be a good time to begin trying to conceive a child. I don’t know if you know this but you can’t just decide that and expect that it’s going to happen! We just thought that we would say that out loud, begin trying and BAM be prego. This was not the case! During the past 5 years there have been many ups and downs, doctors appointments, medications and disappointments. These were some of the darkest days I have ever experienced. There were so many days and nights that I would just question God. I didn’t understand why He would tell me that He wanted to give me the desires of my heart and then withhold this one thing that I wanted desperately. I would often hear Him say, just wait it’s not time yet. I have experienced so many emotions from anger, disappointment, fear, hopelessness, did I mention anger. I can’t tell you how many times I would say, “why do they get to have a baby and I can’t?” Suddenly I thought I had the right to decide who could be fertile and who couldn’t! There were so many days when I didn’t want to seek His face because I was angry with Him but He would nudge me and I would read His word. One day He led me to James chapter 1. The first part of this chapter talks about “counting it all joy when you face trials” we are to consider it like a gift that leads to perseverance. Of course I had read this chapter many times before but it was very real to me this particular day. I came to the end of the chapter, verse 27 to be more specific. Tucked in the very end of this chapter is an open window into the deepest part of the heart of Jesus and this would forever change my heart. James 1:27 “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.” Suddenly I felt the Lord speak to my heart and say, this is where I am leading you. To care for the least of these. To be a mommy and a daddy to children that have nothing and no one!
It was during this time that Micah’s uncle Danny had passed away. Danny was and is a very special man in mine and Micah’s life. I kept thinking of some way we could use his name for our children one day. I decided that if we had a girl we would name her Danny Rae. Every time I would think of this name in my head I would envision a little chinese baby girl with wild hair! At this point I had not shared with Micah all the things I felt that God had been showing me. In November of 2010 he took me on a date to a japanese steak house and on the way I told him everything. I told him that God was calling us to adopt and that we were going to have a little china doll named Danny Rae. He was a little taken back but agreed that God was definitely calling us to do this. Wouldn’t you know it that when we got to our table and sat down our waiter came up and his name was Danny! We just looked at each other and laughed because we knew that God was confirming in our hearts together what He had shared with me in secret!
So here we are many months later finally ready to begin this journey! We are inviting you to be a part of this journey with us. Most of all we need your support through prayer. We are in the beginning stages of this very long, expensive and intense process and we will need strength and wisdom to endure each step. It costs roughly $35,000 to adopt from China. Our minds were blown when we saw this figure but we know that it is nothing for our God. We are asking Him to show up and show out! He knows what we need before we do! We will be doing fundraisers throughout this process and we hope you can be a part of that with us. We give all the glory in advance to the name of Jesus Christ! He alone is worthy of our praise! We love you all and thank you for your support, love and prayers!